We love to judge the things that we cannot relate to. Before we have children, we probably passed judgment on the people whose kids we saw acting up, or who seemed flustered.
We do not know the situation the person is in. Why they have made the “choices” that they have made, or what alternatives were open to them. We know only what we see at that snippet in time.
I apologize to those that I have thought negatively of, based on snippets in time. I do not know your situation. I do not know why your child may be screaming, or why you might have forced the bottle into his mouth. I do not know why you seemed distracted. I do not know how you parent those other moments of your day.
I apologize because I have those moments, too. Those moments of glaring imperfection where I seem distracted, flustered, out of my element. We all do. It’s what the majority of our moments are, that matter. Not the single moments that are visible to strangers that pass through our lives each day.
From now on, when I see those moments, I’ll try to think of ways in which I can help instead of judge. And if there is no way for me to help, I’ll take those moments as a reminder to try and have as many of the “good” kind of moments as I can.
As long as there is no outright abuse or negligence, we have no right to pass judgment based on just moments in time.
So true. I think personally this is something I struggle with. When I see a baby whose parents propped up a bottle for them in the stroller while they are shopping I struggle with helping them out by giving them a knock on the head. My husband literally had to stop me before i did this once.
Even if the indignation I feel is righteous indignation it still isn’t right for me to judge. I have to write this on my hand somedays so I won’t forget!
Ps I love reading your posts. They have really been a huge help in my
breastfeeding career thus far. Congratulations to u on your new baby hope everything will go well for you.
WOW so true and so smart Thanks for airing those thoughts
Wow. I thought I was the only one who had those thoughts before I had kids. I used to think, “all that kids needs is…” Now when I’m struggling in public with my two little ones, I almost wish the people with disapproval in their eyes would come and tell me what my kid needs, cause sometimes I have no clue! At the same time, I remember being on the other side of the fence well enough to not get too upset at them. Mostly…