The REAL Case Against Breastfeeding

I’ve been thinking long and hard, and I have to agree with Hanna Rosin that there is a case to be made against breastfeeding.

The thing is, it’s not a scientific case. It’s not made by studies. All that studies are going to show is that formula is risky, formula is inferior, formula is a medical intervention, formula does not contain the same ingredients that breast milk does.

The case against breastfeeding is made on an individual basis. Each mom has the opportunity to decide how much breastfeeding is worth to her. She gets to weigh the scientific evidence, decide how much the statistics mean to her, weigh in her own set of circumstances (including prematurity, multiple births, pain or difficulty with breastfeeding, past trauma, pre-existing health conditions, family circumstances, work situation, ability to pump, child’s health conditions or special circumstances, stress, family support or lack thereof).. And she gets to decide where her breaking point is.

We all make sacrifices. We all make different decisions. For me, breastfeeding and natural birth ranked way up there and I was lucky to have just enough support, just enough knowledge and just enough physical ability to be able to make it work. I was lucky that I was not sabotaged beyond my ability to hold out. I was lucky in that I was able to meet my breastfeeding goals.

Other mothers may not be so lucky Or other mothers might simply have a different breaking point than I do. Or other mothers may have a different take on the statistics. We ALL have different takes on different statistics. Some of us want an epidural, others refuse it. Some of us will continue drinking caffeine throughout pregnancy, others will not. Some of us will happily take painkillers while breastfeeding as long as the doctor says it’s okay, and others will not. Some of us will only eat organic food while pregnant, some of us will indulge in McDonalds. Some of us will immediately move out of the city because of air quality concerns.. Some of us will not. Some of us will drink filtered water, or spring water, or maybe we feel that our tap water is fine. Some of us will postpone antibiotics to see if an ear infection goes way on its own, some will not. Some of us will use oragel when our babies are teething, some of us will decide that the risks outweigh the possible benefits. Some of us will homeschool, or send our kids to preschool, or unschool, or enroll our kids in private schools.

There are studies about all of these things. Many of them show explicit benefits of one option over another. And yet, there are choices. Because there are many different parents, many different children, many different paths.

We make our own cases for and against each parenting decision that we make. In doing this we are playing the part of judge, of jury, of the defense, the prosecution and the defendant. We are being mothers and making decisions.

The reasons for our decisions are ours and ours alone. They do not make us “better” mothers or “worse” mothers than anyone else. They play a part in a complex, complex decision.

Breastfeeding is always the most nutritious, healthy and biologically appropriate way to feed a child.

Where that indisputable fact comes into play against a million and ten other little facts and opinions in a woman’s life is where the “case against breastfeeding” is made. To pooh-pooh studies or say that they don’t mean much is stupid because the studies all basically say the same thing. Breastfeeding is asolutely scientifically and biologically the best possible option for a child’s early nutrition.

What science cannot do is make that choice for us, or tell us exactly how that choice fits in among those million and ten other little choices that we have to make every day.

Every mother that WANTS to breastfeed should be supported in her efforts using whatever means necessary. But mothers that don’t want to breastfeed? Leave them alone already. If they’re spreading false information, call them on it. But really, who cares what they’re feeding their children so long as it’s not killing them?

The breast vs. formula arguments are useless. Obviously breastfeeding is the best possible option. But if someone doesn’t want to do it, they don’t want to do it. This is why we’re allowed to have abortions, to give our children up for adoption at any age. Because MAKING People do something, even something that has obvious benefits, simply does not work.

Breastfeeding alone will not create a child that says “Mom and dad, you did a great job. I grew up healthy and well adjusted. Thank you.” And formula feeding alone will not eliminate that scenario.

Go forth, raise happy and healthy kids that are well adjusted.

I just ask one thing of you: DO NOT evangelize about formula, do NOT claim to have a case against breastfeeding. Because you do not. Because one does not exist. The case against breastfeeding is an intensely personal one that each mom must make on her own. If someone HELPS mom make a case against breastfeeding, it’s sabotage.

When you see a marathon runner that is obviously tired, you cheer her on. You don’t start to jog alongside her and whisper seductively in her ear about the joys of quitting, how she “tried hard enough”, and how no one will blame her if she quits. That would be sabotage.

Offer her water, offer her an energy bar, offer her moral support, and if SHE decides that she needs to quit, offer her a shoulder to lean on and praise her for how hard she’s tried.

But DO NOT tell her when it’s time to quit. Do NOT tell her how much easier formula is. Encourage her to seek out moms that made it work, because often they have advice for how she can make it work, too. If you quit, don’t give her your own advice. It’s like taking driver’s ed from someone who has never gotten their driver’s license.

Let HER make her own case against breastfeeding. Anything else is sabotage.