“The Case Against Breastfeeding”- Part 2 (Time drain)

“It is a serious time commitment that pretty much guarantees that you will not work in any meaningful way. Let’s say a baby feeds seven times a day and then a couple more times at night. That’s nine times for about a half hour each, which adds up to more than half of a working day, every day, for at least six months. “

I don’t know any five month old that still nurses for a half an hour, except perhaps for an evening session. Most five month olds are starting to settle into the pattern of quick feeds that last about 5 minutes tops. They’re efficient nursers that can latch on, extract all the milk, unlatch, and be burped in the time that it takes to find the formula scoop, shake the bottle, and prop it up with a recieving blanket. (Not that any of these busy busy moms actually prop a bottle. Oh horrors, no. Not with the choking hazards that it presents.)

My five month old was still nursing 8-12 times a day, for about 5 minutes each. That equals 60 minutes or roughly two nursing sessions a la’ Rosin’s complaints. 60 minutes devoted to infant nutrition and snuggling. And looking back on my logs, with the exception of growth spurts, this was pretty much his pattern from around eight weeks on. Solid foods were a lot more of a time drain, with their preparation time (even the jarred variety), their careful spooning, and the laundry and floor/wall cleaning time once my son was done using his food much in the same way that Jackson Pollock used to use paints. Diaper changing and bathing took more time than feeding. My prenatal visits and my son’s pediatrician’s visits took up more of my time than it took to feed my son for the first year of his life. I wouldn’t dream of eliminating the diaper in favor of a catheter or skipping the well baby visits, as tedious as they were. And book reading! It takes about 15 minutes to read a book right, and we’re supposed to read at least 3 of them per day. That’s a whole 45 minutes of my life every day that I can’t get back. And I don’t have the option of multi-tasking, either. You can’t wash dishes and read a book at the same time. Or vacuum and read a book. In fact, you pretty much have to sit there and read the book. A book you’ve likely read fourteen million and three times before, and that you’re starting to hate but that you keep on reading because everyone says that reading to your child encourages brain development and language skills. (I’d love to see what Rosin has to say about THOSE studies.)

The only time that breastfeeding was that time drain that Rosin describes was the first two or three weeks when I was still getting a hang of the whole process. After that, it was all freedom and liberation. I have photographs of me nursing my newborn, hunched over a boppy and assembling a computer for work. Another of my nursing my son in a sling while grocery shopping.

The time drain is not breastfeeding. The time drain is that we’ve changed our expectations of women and of mothers. The time drain is that we’re expected to keep our multiple lives separate. Cuddling time with the husband = separate from cuddling with the kids. House work = separate from the time with the kids (Even though cleaning can be marvelously educational and interactive), Breastfeeding = separate from everything that we might call life. Best done in a rocker in a dark room where we can’t be seen or  heard.

Chasing toddlers is a time drain that ensures that you won’t get anything meaningful done (Other than say.. interacting with your child). Laundry is a time drain that ensures that you won’t get anything meaningful done (other than making sure your family is clothed). Cooking is a time drain (other than making sure your family is fed healthy and fresh food..) Breastfeeding a child is one of the most ridiculously minor time drains on the whole scale of time drainage. Why do people persist on pulling it out as the shining example of the single thing that we should strive to eliminate from our lives? Why is the nutrition of our infants that one thing that we should replace?

You wouldn’t dream of raising your toddlers on food replacers or sending your husband to work each day with only a case of Ensure. So why are we raising our infants on meal replacers and screaming “feminist liberation!”?

I quite simply do not get it.

And no, I’m not judging the women that make this choice. I’m judging Hanna Rosin for implying rather flippantly that it doesn’t matter, and that it’s as good as any of an area to cut out. Like we don’t hear that often enough already. Why does this mother of three feel the need to yell that message off the rooftops while simultaneously pooh-poohing the benefits of breastfeeding? Jeez.